Beyond the Ocean Blue
by RubyFiamma
Summary: [8059] [Poetry] In which Yamamoto makes a decision or two.


**Beyond the Ocean Blue **

* * *

><p>The river runs red, red, red.<p>

The flesh of your hands are stained pink, pink, pink.

Your blade once again gleams white, white, white.

You are but a simple killing machine. A tool no longer able to move through the motions. You are not dull by any means. You are just... No longer human.

Sometimes, you wonder, if this was the way it was meant to be. If this had been your destiny from the start. And sometimes you wonder, _would __it__ have __mattered __anyway__?_

You are no god, no devil, no angel or demon. You service in death and you've paid a hefty price. Somewhere along the lines, you've lost yourself and frankly, you're not sure who you were to begin with.

His silver hair glistens like morning dew on fresh blades of grass.

His eyes are tropic oceans, green like glass, but burn like flowing lava.

His skin is soft and milky, rich like cream you add to the bitter darkness.

In all the ugly you hate, hate, hate; in the mass sea of thorn and bramble, he is a beautiful rose. Rare like the Aurora Borealis, rare like a shooting star.

He is everything you've ever wanted but everything that's out of reach.

When this life is over you hope for peace, peace, peace. To lie you down in a bed of roses and send you on a river dawn. There is nothing for you here, not now. You aren't the man you used to be and that won't ever change.

Your heart is cold, your eyes like ice. You are _not _an angel of mercy. You enjoy the kill far too much and you do it just for fun.

Except it isn't fun, not anymore. There is nothing here and nothing there and you are rooted to your barren wasteland.

He is forbidden gold and genuine, plush pink lips and fire sticks.

His tongue is sharp and temper hot; he's ivory keys and splayed out knees; metal bands and one night stands; he's quite the storm and swears a lot.

His brand of death is Lucky 7, long white barrels and brown filter tips; cedar smoke and tendrils of heaven. His mouth curls round the butt of each in a smirk that says _I __told __you __s_o.

You love, love, love him; once upon a time in a far away land that's no longer home. No, that was Japan.

Each life you take gives more to your own yet you are left to wonder just what the fuck is the point of it all. What is it that you fight for? Freedom? No. _You _fight because you like it, _he _fights because it's all he's ever known.

This isn't his freedom, this isn't your own. You are trapped in a cage like the animal you are. You are the Vongola's _hound__; _blacklist dossiers and body counts, severed heads and bullet lead.

You owe your life to a Sky long darkened, snuffed out by suffocating masses. There is no end to this tumultuous calamity, you are ruins and he is pride and you wonder how the fuck he's still standing when he's the one that should have crumbled first.

So here you are, chained to this life and there he is and he's alright. He's by your side and he's your sun; he's the light and you're no one. But you keep within that heart of steel one last small sliver of _hop_e. Because maybe it's not so bad after all, maybe he's the one that helps you cope.

If you muster the will to set your blade down for one, for two, for many moments then would the world stop spinning? If you trade your sword for his battle scarred hand; if you trade the kill for a soft caress; if you traded _death _for _life_ then what would become of you?

It's all it takes, just that one step forward, to open yourself up and let yourself feel but you're scared because he's everything you've ever wanted, though suddenly he doesn't seem so out of reach. You just have to tell him.

He's feisty, he's loud, he's brilliant and sound. He's beautiful and deadly but you take that leap readily.

You don't expect the answer given, you don't expect the emotions feeling. The frozen glacier lodged inside you is now a flood of ocean blue. He's _the _Gokudera Hayato and it's because he loves you too.

You're baseball bats and tatami mats, sushi rolls and a taste of home. You love the kill but love him more because he's wedding rings and better things and he's what you've been waiting for.


End file.
